What Do You Say by William Stixrud, PhD, and Ned Johnson

 

Oh, teenagers. They're tricky, aren't they? They're almost adults, but not quite yet, but will be soon so better get them ready! It's a lot of pressure. When I heard about What Do You Say? How to Talk with Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home by William Stixrud, PhD, and Ned Johnson, I was on board. A clinical psychologist (Stixrud) and a test prep teen coach (Johnson) have studied what teens need to be successful and how parents can help and then get out of their way. They promote a "parent as consultant" philosophy which focuses on helping kids learn to run their own lives.

Here are a few fantastic quotes from the book:

Kids maximize [their] potential by creating a life they want. We want to make sure that any pressure put on our kid isn't actually about us, and the communities we've become invested in.

Your job is not to control your kids, but to help them learn to control themselves.

A strong connection with a parent is the closest thing to a silver bullet for preventing mental health problems in kids.

This all sounds like excellent advice to me. I have one child that will be leaving for college in less than a year and one only a few years behind. I want them to be able to make good choices for themselves and I'm doing what I can now to help with that. I really enjoyed this book and I hope it will be useful.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid features Evelyn, an old-Hollywood movie star who is finally ready to tell her life's story. She summons Monique, an unknown reporter from a local magazine, to her lavish New York apartment and offers up all of her juiciest secrets with the understanding that they will only be published after her death. With seven husbands, there are plenty of stories to tell and Monique can't believe her luck. Once Ms. Hugo begins, she won't stop until it is all told.

This is one of the best books I've read in a very long time. Reid is a masterful storyteller with fantastic pacing and excellent character development. Just like everyone else in Evelyn's life, I quickly fell in love with her spirit, her drive, and her love for the family she created for herself. Seven husbands is certainly a lot, and not all of them were good, but there was a lot of love and affection in her life.

This book wasn't at all what I expected, but it was so much better than I could have hoped. I have heard that the audio version is fantastic and I can't wait to get my hands on it. Long library waits usually mean good things!

 

Invisible Girl by Lisa Jewell

Invisible Girl by Lisa Jewell is a mystery told from three persepectives: Saffyre, a teenage girl trying to heal from a childhood trauma; Cate, the wife of Saffyre's therapist; and Owen, the very strange, anti-social single man who lives across the street with his aunt. When Saffyre goes missing, there is a lot of speculation of who could be responsible. There have been street attacks on young women in the neighborhood and Cate's daughter is quick to cast suspicion on Owen. He certainly does look guilty, but only time will tell.

I enjoy books written from multiple perspectives, especially with such different characters, because it gives the reader the opportunity to view the contrasting sides of the story. It goes back to the idea that no one is a 'bad guy' in their own mind. The individual motivations make all the difference. Jewell handles this well with distinctive voice and well-fleshed characters.

I liked this book, but not a lot. The characters weren't particularly likable and it felt slow to me. I wasn't overly motivated to pick it up. I had high hopes for it at the beginning, but somehow it fell flat. Other members of the book club enjoyed it more than I did, so maybe I just wasn't in the right headspace for this one.

 

Untamed by Glennon Doyle

Oh, dear. I have heard so much about how everyone needs to read Glennon Doyle's Untamed. The recommendations are almost aggressive- "You HAVE to read it. NOW!" I put it off for a bit, partially because of all the aggression. How could it be that good? I haven't ever read one of her books because they just didn't seem like something that would be for me. I really wasn't all that interested.

And then I read Untamed. And let me just say, "You HAVE to read it. NOW!" 

Okay, I apologize. That was a little over the top, but seriously. I got so much out of this book that I think I highlighted more of it than I didn't. Seriously, my Kindle says I have 110 highlights. That's so much! One of the early underlines pretty much speaks for the rest of the book:

Who was I before I became who the world told me to be?

And another:

I lost myself when I learned how to please.... When a woman finally learns that pleasing the world is impossible, she becomes free to learn how to please herself.

That's where I want to be. I want to let go of pleasing the world and learn how to please myself. Will some of that include taking care of the people around me and making sure they have what they need? Of course. Pleasing oneself likely won't include a double middle finger to the rest of the world, unless one is a sociopath, so I'm really not worried about that. I would, however, like to worry less about what everyone else thinks and be a little more concerned about what I think and why.

There are so many more thought-provoking quotes I'd love to share with you, but then I'd just end up transcribing half the book. I am adding this to my "frequently recommended" list. I hope you'll read it soon. I'd love to hear what you think!

 

 

What I've Heard- Rising Strong

My most recent Brene Brown read, or more accurately listen, is Rising Strong. Brene reads this book and it is so much better to hear a non-fiction book in the voice of the author. Some of my favorite advice from this book is to not take opinions from people who are not also in the "arena", or in other words, fighting hard their own battles. It is easy for people on the sidelines to tell you how they would do it or criticize your methods, but they aren't out there doing it. Don't listen to them. Listen to yourself.

She also talks quite a bit about empathy, about trying to understand the people around us. I feel very strongly that she is correct on this. In her words:

Empathy is not finite, and compassion is not a pizza with eight slices. When you practice empathy and compassion with someone, there is not less of these qualities to go around. There's more.

I really love that. All in all, this wasn't my favorite of her books. I think Braving the Wilderness still holds that spot, but there was a lot of good material in this one as well. 

I'm a big Brene Brown fan.

When No One is Watching by Alyssa Cole

When No One is Watching by Alyssa Cole was a fantastic book club selection for this month! Sydney grew up in a beautiful Brooklyn brownstone, but now her mother is in very ill health and Sydney is worried that the neighborhood is changing in a suspicious way. Neighbors who have lived in their homes for decades are suddenly disappearing; the new pharmaceuticals research lab will be opening soon; and the real estate agents hoping to get owners to sell are getting more and more aggressive.

While this is a thriller, I learned a lot about gentrification and the terrible way that real estate and home ownership has been set up for some people. I did feel like the "thriller" aspect of the story took a little too long to get into motion, but otherwise I couldn't stop reading. There were twists I saw coming from a long way away and others I never would have guessed.

This book led to some interesting conversation and I would recommend it for book club.

Add it to the ever growing list!

 

What I've Heard- The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting

I have been on a real Brene Brown kick lately and The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting was a wonderful quick listen. Brene talks a lot in her books about belonging versus fitting in and one of the best points she makes in this book is that home should be the place where our family feels like they belong the most. We can be silly and vulnerable and not worry what others will think in our homes because it should be filled with love and acceptance.

She also makes it very clear that we can't expect behaviors from our children that we aren't performing ourselves, specifically self-acceptance and the ability to overcome our own shame. When we show ourselves love and compassion, it translates to our children.

This book was a great addition to her body of work. 

 

What I've Heard- Greenlights

Matthew McConaghey just has one of those voices. It's gravely, but not rough. It's low, but casual. It's just gorgeous and listening to his memoir Greenlights is a real treat. McConaghey shares stories about growing up in rural Texas, getting his first acting gig, traveling the world- often to unusual destinations-, living the Hollywood life, and meeting his wife and starting their family. It is filled with lessons learned the easy or hard way, but always with a sense of humor and a healthy dose of perspective.

I've read reviews calling this self-indulgent or vain, but it is a memoir. It is supposed to be about him. There were, admittedly, a few cringy moments, but show me someone whose life doesn't have those and I'll show you a fibber. He even includes the naked bongo story! The theme throughout the book is that if we work hard and do the right things, Green Lights will light our way.

I found this audio book engaging and very difficult to turn off at the end of a bike ride. It was inspirational and interesting. Add it to your next road trip playlist!

 

The Wisdom of Sally Red Shoes by Ruth Hogan

In Ruth Hogan's The Wisdom of Sally Red Shoes, we meet Masha, a woman overwhelmed by the death of her small child twelve years ago. Surrounded by supportive friends, she has found a way to function within her grief, but not to move on from it. She spends all her free time either in the local public pool, imagining what it must feel like to drown or walking among the headstones in the cemetery. It is here that she comes to meet an eccentric woman who isn't always in control of her words that she calls Sally Red Shoes. Sally helps her see life in a completely different way.

This book if filled with lovely characters, quirky and strange as some of them may be. Grief is a hard story to tell, but I appreciate that Hogan makes it clear that there isn't a right amount of time to grieve and that it comes and goes in waves. She doesn't shy away from discussions of death, but still adds a sprinkle of humor to soften the blow. I liked this book and I think you will, too.

I'll leave you with this bit of wisdom from its pages:

However fit, fabulous, rich, double-jointed, brilliant, brave, funny or fastidious about cleaning our teeth we are, we are all going to die.

Your problem is that you are too lazy, too scared or too stupid to spend the time leading up to your death living. Really living. Do something!... Preferably for someone else.... The clock is ticking. 

 

What I've Heard- Braving the Wilderness

I just finished listening to Braving the Wilderness by Brene Brown. It is my first book by the author, though I've seen her TED talk and watched her Netflix special. This one came highly recommended and I loved it. I really enjoyed the discussions about belonging versus fitting in. She explains it this way: 

"True belonging doesn't require us to change who we are. It requires us to be who we are."

I listened to the audio version of this book and it was wonderful. Brene reads it herself and you get her full personality through her words. If you are offended by the word "bullsh*t", you might not enjoy it, but in my opinion it is used totally appropriately. The only problem with the audio, of course, is the inability to highlight or take notes or walk around with the print copy showing it to others and yelling "See!" with absolutely no context and only your crazy eyeballs warning them they should maybe take a step or two backwards. I mean, if you're the kind of person who does things like that.

I'm not. I'm totally not. 

Anyway... this book was great and I've already checked out three more Brene Brown audio books from the library and I'm on the list for another. The rest of my summer very well may be Brene Camp!

 

What I've Heard- Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb chronicles Lori's path to her career as a therapist and through her own therapy following a devastating breakup. We all need to talk to someone, sometimes. For many patients, Lori is that person, but she needs her own person, too. In this book, we get to hear about Lori's clients (names and identifying characteristics all changed, of course). They include a grumpy, middle-aged jerk who finds fault in everyone; an older woman who feels she has no purpose left in life; and a sweet young woman with terminal cancer. We watch as they grow, come to understand their feelings, and do better. And we see the bond that, though always professional, connects therapist and patient.

This book was a fascinating look into the world of therapy and what it can do to help people heal. It was also insightful and funny. I listened to the audio version and enjoyed it very much. I felt highly invested in each of the "characters" and enjoyed hearing Lori's story as well.

Viral BS by Dr. Seema Yasmin

Medical rumors are everywhere. Once they get started it can be nearly impossible to stop them. Just look at the anti-vax movement: it all began with one crooked doctor falsifying test results that claimed vaccines cause autism. This is false.

In Viral BS by Dr. Seema Yasmin, we examine dozens of myths like this, along with a few truths. Diet soda's connection to Alzheimer's disease; football and it's connection to brain damage; the elevated risks of pregnancy in the US; medical test subjects in Nazi concentration camps as well as by American doctors in the US; and chemtrails.

We believe all sorts of things can harm us that really can't while ignoring lots of things that actually  matter. With short chapters and concise answers to some of our most curious medical questions, this book was an enjoyable trip into medical trivia that will make you well-equipped to pull out a fun "did you know" at your next boring work get-together or to change the subject around your racist uncle. 

If you get all excited when someone says the words "Fun Fact!", this is just the book for you.

 

My Lovely Wife by Samantha Downing

Oh, the things we don't know about our marriage partner until it is too late. In Samantha Downing's My Lovely Wife, a happily married couple have a highly unusual (one hopes) past time- murder. Told from the perspective of the husband, we watch as they plan and execute (pun intended) the kidnapping and murders of two women. Because they get off on it! These are not good people.

And yet, from the outside they seem perfectly lovely. The wife is a successful real estate agent and the husband teaches tennis to wealthy clients at the local country club. They have two teenage children who seem relatively well-adjusted. This is a normal family, but maybe that's what makes it all the more frightening.

This book was... okay. I didn't love it, but I didn't hate it either. I don't usually love dark thrillers where everyone is just varying degrees of flawed. I don't need perfect characters, but in this there weren't any likable ones either. It was a little like Gone Girl in that way. Because I needed to finish this quickly for book club, I pushed on much more than I probably would have otherwise. I never felt like I couldn't wait to get back to it, but that isn't what I've heard from my friends. They stayed up late reading, unable to stop until they got to the end. Maybe I'm right. Maybe they are. Who knows, but I'd love to hear what you think!

 

 

The Last Thing He Told Me by Laura Dave

"Protect her."

That is Hannah's husband's final message to her in The Last Thing He Told Me by Laura Dave. He means his daughter, but from what could she possibly need protection? Where has he gone? These questions have no answers unless Hannah is brave enough to go out and find them herself. Guided only by the fuzzy childhood memories of a sullen teenager, Hannah and Bailey begin their search. What they find will require the greatest of sacrifices.

Despite cheesy chapter titles and the voice of a teenager that doesn't really sound like a teenager, this book was good. The action and the questions were interesting enough that I kept turning pages. Hannah is a likable character, but perhaps not well-developed enough. I couldn't even remember her name until I looked it up to do this review. There were also loose ends at the close of the story that I felt could have been more neatly tied up. Otherwise, this was a quick read that didn't require too much, making it a great vacation read.

 

Dear Emmie Blue by Lia Louis

In Dear Emmie Blue by Lia Louis, we meet Emmie, a thirty-year-old woman who is in love with her best friend, Lucas. They met at age sixteen when Emmie released a balloon with a note inside. When Lucas found it and responded to her email address, a great friendship was formed. Emmie has hoped that someday they will be more than friends, but she hasn't told him how she feels and it looks like she has missed her chance. Lucas has just informed her that he is getting married. Heartbroken, she soldiers on, determined to do whatever is necessary to ensure his happiness.

Filled with darling characters, and a few others who could really use a punch in the nose, this book was very sweet. Emmie has had a hard life and with Lucas she gets to peek into what an ideal family might look like. He is her best friend, but his parents are almost like parents to her as well. She also has two wonderful friends at work and she discovers more of a connection with someone she has taken for granted for a long time.

This book is about relationships and found families. And I adored it.

 

What I've Heard- You'll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey

When I read You'll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey by Amber Ruffin and Lacey Lamar, I knew the audio version would be ah-mazing. If you've seen The Amber Ruffin Show you also know that Amber is hilarious and anything with her voice is going to be better.

Y'all. I was. Not. Wrong.

The stories in this book are, as the subtitle says, absolutely crazy. And horrible. And so mean, but somehow Amber and Lacey make them funny, too. I guess that's the real sign of comedic genius and there is plenty of it here. Please listen to this book. Or read it. Or do both simultaneously.

Whatever works for you, but don't wait another day.

 

What I've Heard- The Four Agreements

I read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz so many years ago that it isn't even in my Goodreads account. I loved it and it was time for a re-read. I have a copy of the book- it's quite small at only 138 pages- but I thought it might be nice to listen to the audio version. It's only a couple of hours long and it is wonderful. The only thing that bugged me was that I could not place the voice of the narrator, Peter Coyote. Turns out he's this handsome devil:

You may recognize him as the head scientist in ET or as the Dad in A Walk to Remember or more recently for our family, as the head of NTAC in The 4400. I knew his voice. I could almost picture him. It was making me crazy that I couldn't figure out who he was. Luckily, IMDB came to the rescue. And let me assure you that he's not just a pretty face. His voice is like velvet reading this inspiring book.

The Four Agreements is about self-improvement and learning the lesson that we can make our own heaven on earth by living by these four principles:

I've included this handy dandy graphic because I thought it was so pretty. These aren't complicated concepts. "Always do your best" seems almost as basic as possible, but Ruiz has a way of making the reader (or listener) realize how vital they are to our well-being. You will be challenged. You will have to stretch to make these work. And you will likely have to start and restart. I know I will, but I believe in the wisdom of these words. I would recommend this book to everyone. It hardly takes any time at all and it could just change your whole perspective.

 

What I've Heard- Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs?

I really enjoyed reading Caitlin Doughty's Smoke Gets In Your Eyes, so I quickly put a library hold on her audiobook Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? Caitlin reads it herself, which I love, and it is a question-answer format produced solely from the questions she receives from children because we all know kids will ask anything. And boy are there some doozies in this book. It is, in equal measures, fascinating and gruesome. Caitlin doesn't tiptoe around the realities of death and I really kind of love her for it. 

Since I listened to this mostly while riding my bike, I wasn't able to take notes and copy down my favorite quotes, but I will say that I laughed out loud on numerous occasions, as well as audibly squealing, "Ewww...gross!" more than once or twice. I totally recommend adding this one to your list, and if your kids are brave and you aren't too squeemish, it would be an awesome audiobook for your next family road trip. Lots of fun conversations! 

What I've Heard- Everybody Fights

If you know who the Holderness Family are, it is nearly certain that you love them. They first came to fame with their Christmas Jammies video and have spent the last decade adding much needed humor to the world of the internets. They seem to have a great family and the perfect marriage so I really love that the book they've chosen to write and release out into the ether is entitled Everybody Fights. Of course they seem madly in love all the time- no one would want to publish videos of their arguments about replacing the toilet paper roll or putting away wet towels. And yet, they have made themselves vulnerable enough to show the world that they have struggles like anyone else, that everybody fights, even them.

Marriage maintenance is important and learning to communicate well enough to be able to argue productively is a huge part of that. Kim and Penn have seen a marriage coach for years and in this book they share many of the things they have learned that have helped them. I listened to the audio version and I highly recommend it because so much of their personalities come through and it makes it so much more impactful. And also fun. They are a fun couple and this is one marriage book you'll actually enjoy.

 

The Lost Apothecary by Sarah Penner

In The Lost Apothecary by Sarah Penner, we meet Caroline, a woman whose marriage has just self-destructed and who has decided to take her anniversary trip to London alone. When she arrives, she feels the long-buried stirrings of her obsession with history reviving. One small found object leads her on a quest for information about an apothecary from two centuries earlier. As the reader, we have the advantage of meeting Nella, the apothecary from the 1791. Told in alternating chapters between Caroline in the present day, Nella, and also a young woman seeking Nella's help, we watch as their stories fold in upon one another.

This was an interesting read with lovely characters. There were a few that I wish we were able to get to know a little better, but over all they were well-written. The story idea was good, but I felt like it could have had more... meat. This book has been highly promoted and has received a lot of good reviews, but it didn't deliver quite what I was hoping. When it arrived, I was surprised that it seemed a bit thin and after reading it, I feel like it could have used another hundred pages or so. The story could have been much better fleshed out; it could have used more details about the apothecary and her poisons that she uses to help women. I liked this book, but I was a little disappointed.

 

Good Eggs by Rebecca Hardiman

In Good Eggs, by Rebecca Hardiman, Millie Gogarty is an irrepressible old woman with a bit of a shoplifting habit. It's no big deal, she thinks. How could anyone get angry with a sweet, little old lady? Except that they do and her son Kevin is especially exasperated with her. He is ready to have her committed to a home, but settles for a home companion for a bit instead. Kevin's family life isn't exactly going well, either. His teen daughter, Aideen, is emotional and destructive and beyond their help so he sends her to her own home away from home- boarding school. This doesn't not make Aideen happy at all. To make matters worse for Kevin, he is feeling frustrated with his joblessness and his wife's neglect. We all know the solution to those two problems: an affair. Disasters ensue and two of these three main characters go missing, somewhere far abroad.

This book was cute, Millie was a doll and I felt sympathy for the the teenaged angst Aideen experiences, but Kevin was kind of pathetic. The other side characters had almost no development and weighed the story down. The pacing was a little slow and I often fell asleep after only a few pages at night, causing me to take much longer to complete this book than usual. I was extremely frustrated with the ending. It felt like it showed up out of no where and provided very few answers. I'm sad that I didn't like this book more because sweet, old Millie deserved better.

 

In Her Eyes by Sarah Alderson

A home invasion is a terrifying prospect. When Ava's opulent home is the target and her daughter is gravely injured, she doesn't know what to do. Why would someone want to hurt her family? And why is her husband sitting in a jail cell? Those are the questions to ask in Sarah Alderson's In Her Eyes.

Ava's life is good, but she tries to be humble about it. Her husband is hugely successful in his career, she has a brand new car and a fancy house, she takes her daughters on pricey shopping trips, but she doesn't rub anyone's nose in it. Life isn't perfect- her step-son is a mess, and her marriage... well, it could be a lot better. Then, suddenly, everything is lost- her home, her husband, and possibly even her daughter. And the threat isn't over yet. Someone is still searching for something and they'll do anything to get it.

This book was... okay. It kept me turning the pages, but I didn't love it and I wasn't thoroughly satisfied with the ending. The characters were interesting, but not very likable. The plot is full of twists and turns, but the solutions to them aren't all that believable.  

 

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes by Caitlin Doughty

I first heard about Caitlin Doughty while listening to an interview with her on NPR years ago. I then found her website The Order of the Good Death and also saw a few of her YouTube videos which you can find under Ask a Mortician. I have had her book, Smoke Gets in Your Eyes & Other Lessons from the Crematory, on my To-Read list for years. I am fascinated by alternate burial practices and this book gives a lot of insight into both the traditional ways of laying a loved one (or yourself) to rest, as well as offering some information on other options. 

Here are just a few interesting things I learned from Ms. Doughty:

1. She leaves work each day at the crematory covered in a fine layer of human dust.

2. The funeral industry goes to extraordinary lengths to make a corpse look "natural". Doughty explains some of these processes in...detail.

3. The cremation process uses as much energy as a five-hundred-mile car trip for a single body.

Alternate options include having Dad's cremated ashes...sent into space, or tamped into bullets and shot out of a gun, or turned into a wearable diamond. One could also donate their remains to science, though what that actually means can vary significantly. Or one could be suited up in an "Infinity Burial Suit" which is embedded with mushroom spores that will remove toxins from the body and assist in its decomposition.

Author and environmentalist Edward Abbey said, "If my decomposing carcass helps nourish the roots of a juniper tree or the wings of a vulture- that is immortality enough for me. And as much as anyone deserves." As a result, his friends stole his body from the morgue and buried him out in the desert exactly as he wanted.

This book was written in 2014, so it doesn't contain anything about my current favorite method of laying human remains to rest- natural organic reduction. Basically, it's composting for people, a process that has been in place for livestock for years. Each body is turned into one cubic yard of nutrient-rich soil that can then be used to enrich conservation land, forests, or gardens. You can read more about it here. It is a compelling option when you consider the environmental benefits and the natural returning to the earth.

This was a short book that certainly kept my attention. It may not be "cheery reading", but it was extremely interesting and thought-provoking. 

 

City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert

In Elizabeth Gilbert's City of Girls, the year is 1940 and we are introduced to Vivian Morris, a recent college reject with no plans for her life. In a moment of desperation, her parents send her to live with her theater-running aunt in New York City. There Vivian meets glamorous people and lives a glamorous life not at all matching what her prim and proper parents would want for her. She gets herself in trouble, she makes big mistakes, and the reader is along for the ride.

The story actually begins as a letter written in 2010 to a young woman named Angela that we don't know, but who has inquired how Vivian knew Angela's father. Presumably the whole story is about a mystery man and his possible relationship with our main character. Unfortunately, the wild and romantic bits of Vivian's tale all occur years before she meets this man, but we hear all the details anyway as if they are of the utmost importance and then this father is thrown in near the end with almost no significance at all. Honestly, I'm not sure why we needed to know about him at all except that it gave the old woman an opportunity to talk about her scandalous past.

This book is long (466 pages) and at times a little slow, but there was enough interesting that I kept reading. And yet, when I realized that the first two-thirds or more of the book had all been the shiny object meant to keep your attention, but without any real meaning at all? Well, SmartGirl, I was kind of irritated. Maybe you'll like it more than I did. There is plenty of description of WW2 era NYC and of theater life and night life. There are some great characters. Sadly, for me the story fell flat.

 

What I've Heard- This is How it Always Is

I waited to listen to This Is How it Always Is because I wanted to have some distance from the story and hopefully enjoy it anew. That strategy worked wonderfully well. I love this book so much and I was able to enjoy the sweet, funny moments as if I hadn't heard them before. The magic in the characters is so special. The mixture of fairy tale and truth is perfectly swirled together.

This was the best book I read in 2019 and I stand by that assessment. I will definitely listen to this one again. I hope you'll add it to your list.

 

Broken (in the best possible way) by Jenny Lawson

Okay, for reals, if you haven't read Jenny Lawson yet you need to do it NOW! Start with Let's Pretend This Never Happened and then read Furiously Happy. You'll be very glad that you did. Once you've finished those you'll be ready for Broken (in the best possible way). With her first book, Jenny mostly tells hilarious stories that very well may make you wet yourself. With her second book, she gets a little more frank about her mental illness, but in a way that still makes you laugh. 

With this most recent offering, Jenny, still funny, still mentally ill, pulls the curtain back even further. We witness her struggles with the health insurance companies that deny her the treatments that could make her life better or very possibly save it. It is heartbreaking, but Jenny makes it very clear that she has a much easier time of it than so many others. She has the ability to pay for the medications that her doctor says she needs and her insurance company says she doesn't. And really, who's to say which of those two entities really knows better. (It's the doctor. The doctor is the one who is better at deciding what she needs. That shouldn't even be a question, should it?)

She also gives a wonderful list of possible things that can help when one is in the grips of mental illness. It is a chapter entitled The Things We Do to Quiet the Monsters and it is wonderful. And I don't just say that because number nine on her list is Watch Doctor Who. I can't even remember how many times I've watched through that gift of a series, but it always makes me feel better. Life is stressful and Doctor Who makes it a little better. There are sad parts, but it is full of light and the darkness never wins, not in the end. If you haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend it, but I digress...

There are so many remarkable moments in this book, but the chapter called Awkwarding Brings Us Together was possibly my favorite. I laughed until literal tears were streaming down my face. It took me seven solid minutes to read one tiny paragraph to my husband because I could not get it out without cracking up. Jenny ends the chapter with this, which was just so accurate it was scary:

If you have managed to read these wonderful confessions without doing that thing where you're giggling so much people are staring and so you try to explain to them what's so funny but you're cry-laughing so hard that you can't get it out and they just stare at you like you're insane and that somehow makes it worse and so you laugh harder and then you get mad that they aren't appreciating how fantastically wonderful it all is, then we can't be friends, and honestly, I'm a little embarrassed for you.

Jenny Lawson is the most raw and real, honest and genuine writer I've ever read. There are others who try to imitate her special magic, but none come even close, though I am grateful for the way she has inspired others to share their truth. I love Jenny Lawson and I hope you do, too. If you haven't read her books yet, I really wish you would. And I also highly recommend her audiobooks. She reads them and her own voice makes the stories that much better. I can't wait to hear Broken. 

 

The Love Proof by Madeleine Henry

Can love transcend time? In Love Proof by Madeleine Henry, Sophie thinks so. A certified genius with a personalized education plan at Yale, Sophie is determined to make a breakthrough in the study of time. She meets Jake on her first day and they quickly become inseparable. Equally driven, he spends his four years of college in awe of her talent and intellect. Upon graduation, reality dawns and they are pulled apart. Or are they?

I really loved the first half of this book. I was fascinated by all the theory and scientific discussion. Unfortunately, it was ruined when one character makes a choice for the other for their own good. I hate it when characters, or people, do that. The result is one kind of success, but a great loss of another kind. I'm trying not to spoil the story for you in case you would like to read it yourself. The Goodreads rating is nearly four stars and the reviews are full of praise, but I was disappointed.

I loved how brilliant Sophie is. Smart women, especially geniuses on the verge of scientific discovery, really appeal to me. I have no problem with a character like that who is maybe a bit naïve with other more practical things in life, but this went too far. Sophie has no agency or strength of her own. It felt weak and that made me sad.

 

Gmorning, Gnight! by Lin-Manuel Miranda

I have loved Lin-Manuel Miranda for years and when I saw that he had a book published from his celebrated tweets, I was excited to read it. In Gmorning, Gnight! each left page has a Good Morning message. One of my favorites is this:

Gmorning from the younger version of you,

who couldn't wait to be you at this age right now.

The right page is then followed with the evening companion:

Gnight from the older version of you,

who remembers the very moment you are in right now

and is grinning from ear to ear, because

you have no idea about

the wonders ahead.

How lovely is that?! There are so many sweet little encouragements in this book that would be perfectly at home on your bathroom mirror or stuck to your morning coffee cup. 

In addition, this darling little book is illustrated by Jonny Sun whose doodles look a little like they belong in a Shel Silverstein book. This would make a wonderful gift for anyone you love or even like a little bit. 

I'll leave you with what I'm going to be putting on the inside of my medicine cabinet:

Gnight.

Tomorrow we try again.

Rest up.

 

When We Believed in Mermaids by Barbara O'Neal

In Barbara O'Neal's When We Believed in Mermaids, Kit and Josie are sisters two years apart. They grew up wild and untended on a beach in northern California. Their parents were passionate and inattentive. Now grown, Kit has made a good life for herself- she is a successful ER doctor and she surfs and takes care of her mother. They are both shaken when the see Josie's face on the news half a world away from where she died years before. Kit is now determined to find out if she's seeing ghosts or if, just maybe, her sister is still alive.

This book was a quick, entertaining read. It wasn't perfect and there were flaws, but I really liked it. I read this for book club and it supplied plenty of good discussion. I would recommend this for a vacation read- the beaches and traveling to a far off destination make it a great addition to your carry on.

 

The Proposal by Jasmine Guillory

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, it is no surprise that our book club pick would be romantically inclined. The Proposal begins with Nik (short for Nikole) very publicly receiving an unexpected and unwelcome proposal of marriage. When Carlos, an unknown witness of the proposal attempts to help Nik out of the sticky aftermath, a friendship is formed. Carlos and Nik are cute and neither one is in the market for a relationship, but a little fun never hurt anyone, did it?

This book was cute and a fun little page-turner. There are moments when it gets quite steamy so keep that in mind whether that is something you enjoy in a book or not. The characters in this novel are all pretty great. Nik's friends and Carlos's family are fun to read. This would make for a great vacation read.

 

The Undrowned by K.R. Alexander

When your kid tells you that you just have to read a book, that it's the best book ever, you do it, no questions asked. That is how I came to The Undrowned by K.R. Alexander. Samantha is a mean bully who pushes her former friend into the lake and watches her die. The next day, she is shocked to see the girl back at school, pretending as if nothing happened.

I was very sad to tell my kid that this book was... not good. She likes it and kids should always be allowed to read what they enjoy, but I was not a fan. The main character has no redeeming qualities and the writing was pretty uninspired. I hate to be so critical, but it was pretty awful.

The only good thing to come of this, was that I made a deal with the kid that I would read this one if she would read Cinder. I've been trying to talk her into it for months and this finally made it happen. I will happily sacrifice a couple of days reading a terrible book if it will introduce her to a fantastic series. And if you haven't yet read The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer, the first book of which is Cinder, I highly recommend that you do. Now off to find something better, hopefully.

 

No Offense by Meg Cabot

Sometimes you start a book and you can tell right away it is not worth your time. It's not well written or the characters are terrible people you can't possibly invest the time in to see if they will have any kind of redemption at all. That was what happened to me a week ago and I find that a bad book can sometimes sour me for reading for a little bit. Fortunately, I the picked up Meg Cabot's No Offense and it was like a breath of fresh air!

Molly Montgomery is the new children's librarian on Little Bridge, a small island in the Florida Keys. She is still smarting from a difficult break up and obsessed with true crime shows on TV when a real mystery drops into her lap, er, library. As she gets to know the sheriff, with whom she butts heads on more than one occasion, she tries to solve the crime and also uncover a little romance as well.

I don't normally read cheesy romance, but when the time is right, it's right. This light, fluffy, sweet novel was exactly what I needed to get the yucky taste of that DNF out of my mouth while also serving as a distraction from the world. It was also very good writing with darling characters. This was cute and would make for perfect vacation reading.

 

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig

 

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig is about Nora Seed, a young woman whose life is falling apart. Her brother isn't talking to her, she's lost her job, and her cat just died. Heartbroken and feeling hopeless, Nora somehow finds herself in a magical, and infinite, library that is filled with books that are nothing but the lives she could have lived. Every decision we make, large or small, leads to a completely different possible existence and Nora is being given the opportunity to face her regrets and choose better. What if she'd gone to Australia with her friend? What if she'd stuck with swimming and pursued her Olympic dreams? What if she hadn't backed out of her wedding at the last minute? So many possibilities. Where would she be now if only...?

This is a book I've seen called the best of the year by person after person on blogs and other book nerd pages that I follow. The reviews are so positive that it made it difficult to even find a copy; many places were sold out just before Christmas. Once I finally got my hands on it, I was really excited. Book nerds almost always love books that are set in libraries and this library was filled with parallel lives.

What could be better?!

Unfortunately, I didn't love this book as much as I had hoped I would. Maybe it was all they hype surrounding it that raised my expectations too high. It wouldn't be the first time that's happened. I liked Nora and I loved the idea of exploring the "road not taken" as it were, but it fell flat for me. It lacked depth and texture in a way that I can't exactly articulate. I wanted more and it felt like it was almost there, but not quite. Like plain frozen yogurt when what you really crave is a triple dip cone of premium ice cream.

I will say that I enjoyed all the little sprinkles of philosophy scattered throughout the book. Nora is a philosophy major and a big fan of dropping quotes into conversations. And the lives we get to watch her live are interesting, even if they aren't exactly the right lives for her. I just wanted more. It wasn't the right book for me, but over 100K reviewers on GoodReads can't all be wrong. It's worth your time.

I'll leave you with this short, but very important, quote:

The only way to learn is to live.

You'll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey by Amber Ruffin and Lacey Lamar

You'll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey is written by Late Night with Seth Meyers writer Amber Ruffin and her sister Lacey Lamar. Mostly written by Amber, she describes it this way:

My sister Lacey is a lightening rod for hilarious racist stories.

And also:

When you hear these stories and think, None of these stories are okay, you are right. And when you hear these stories and think, Dang, that's hilarious, you are right. They're both.

You may have seen Amber on the segment Jokes Seth Can't Tell which is flipping hysterical. Or perhaps you've seen her show on the Peacock app, The Amber Ruffin Show. If you haven't then you definitely should. She's really funny. And whether you have seen these or you haven't, I highly recommend pulling up several segments on YouTube and watching them just to get her voice in your head. Her sweet tone of voice and sarcastic delivery will absolutely make the reading experience better for you.

The stories Amber and Lacey tell are unbelievable, by which I mean they are horribly believable. Who are these people that would treat someone this way? What is wrong with some people? How do people who treat others this way sleep at night? I really would like to know. Anyone else telling these stories would be depressing, but somehow Amber makes it hilarious.

I highly recommend this book. I've even added it to my "Required Reading" list. I can't wait to listen to the audio version because it is going to be ah-mazing!

 

Vanessa Yu's Magical Paris Tea Shop by Roselle Lim

In Vanessa Yu's Magical Paris Tea Shop by Roselle Lim, Vanessa can see the future. Sometimes. Usually unreliably and without specificity. If she catches a glimpse of the beverage someone has been drinking, a prediction will burst forth unbidden and unexpected. It may be a nice thing, like winning the lottery, but in most cases it is disappointing or traumatic information that Vanessa has no way of controlling. It should be easier for her, but when she was a child she gave up on the lessons with her Aunt Evelyn who has the same gift. When life isn't working out the way she'd like and the predictions are causing more and more trouble, Vanessa agrees to accompany Evelyn to Paris where she is opening a new tea shop in hopes that she can resume her lessons.

This was a cute, easy read and more of a romance than I had anticipated. Magical Realism is one of my favorite fun genres and this one fits squarely in that category. There were, however, a few things that bugged me. First of all, the title is too long. The Magical Paris Tea Shop would have been better. And then as you read the book, you discover that maybe even that would be a misnomer. Also, I'm all for adding texture by including all five senses, but the amount of time the author spent describing gourmet foods didn't match with this plot very well, as if it was just something fun to add, but not really necessary. And finally the love interest is, in my opinion, too flawed. I won't get into why for fear of spoiling it for you. 

Luckily for me, this book came at just the right time when a light, fluffy novel was just what I needed. These are stressful times so if you are also in need of this kind of read, may I recommend this one?